Why should we smile?
This is a question I am tired of asking and I am tired of having little respect from men, and mostly my parents who tend to be an enraged fanatical Christian woman and a misogynist neurotic racist father. Why should we smile? Well look how beautiful you are. You must smile, it enhances your facial features. You look so beautiful when you smile. How many times have we heard this crap? How many times have we had to swallow our pain? It is hard to be a woman and a person. I say this because to society women are nothing more than object to be displayed like furniture and gawked at, whistled at, and made fun of if we don’t act or look the way others want us to look.
I am not sorry but I am not your ornament nor your electronic plushy that you can squeeze through your words when you berate us and mock us for not smiling, so we can smile at you. We are people and in case you haven’t noticed, we have the right to feel and show our feelings if we feel like it.
Some might say ‘well sometimes you just can’t showcase your feelings’. Okay, got it. Then why is it the movie business and so many classical stories are filled with the classical gloomy anti-hero who is admired because he can express his feelings or is so brooding? Why can’t we cry and scream when we are hurting freely without being told ‘stop PMsing honey’ or ‘get over it’?
I have a burn on my back and don’t worry, it is partly healed but that right side on my back where the second degree burn is –I guess it still classifies as such but it is a close wound but nonetheless I still have to go therapy three days a week and have someone change the gauzes after I get out of the shower and believe me you feel horrible when you are in this position because of the pain and because you can’t yell to the four winds or cry without having your crazy misogynist fanatic mother and crazy misogynist racist father who hates women too, to stop crying because ‘oh you will get over it’ ‘Yes you have a wound, but so what? Just stop crying, the more you keep crying the less you will heal. You are a stupid, stupid woman, just like all women you cry. Just hold it. People want to see you smile, they don’t want to see you cry’. Not only that I keep hearing shit like ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?’ What the fuck is al this bullshit? Why must society insist on treating us like trash?
No, not trash. The correct word is ornaments. We are ornaments, if we hurt, physically or emotionally, we must swallow it and smile because no one gives a shit about our problems and even when we are told it is okay to cry, it is only up to a point because we girls look much better when we smile. We look stronger. Because although men complain we are sentimental, we have been reared to smile, to be passive instead of being active. To not complain because complaining gets on the nerves of men, our ultra-traditional, ultra-conservative parents.
Do you see now? Is this the way we want to live our lives? To be at the mercy of a smile? To hide our feelings for jerks.
I say hell no. And do not forgive me for what I am about to say –to the jerks who read this and still think it is no big deal- but you can go to hell. I am not going to smile and pretend that my feelings do not exist because they do. And because they do, I will express them. If I feel like crying when they tore my skin or scream, I will scream. So there!
And no, I have not smiled much because I am tired and because although I did in the beginning, I only want to smile when I feel like it and because at the moment because of that burn, because of my pain, I care more about recovering than pleasing everyone else.